A Word that Is NOT a Part of my Vocabulary

TAlk to yourself the way you would talk to your bffLoser. The word makes me cringe. And not because it denotes the idea of losing something, whether it be the big game or at life in general. No, I hate the word because it attacks my identity. It cuts to the quick of who I am.

Merriam-Webster says that a loser is, “A person who is incompetent or unable to succeed; something doomed to fail or disappoint.” WOW. That’s just sad. Even the dictionary attaches an I.D. tag to this hopeless word.

You can’t separate the word LOSER from a person. And once it’s assigned, that person is doomed to see herself that way as well. Instead of ascribing the act of losing to an event or occurrence, we put the heavy weight of this title on a human being. 

A person who identifies with the LOSER title doesn’t see herself with the ability to overcome the odds. She doesn’t take on tasks that seem daunting because she fears the possibility of failure.

A person who has come to accept herself as a LOSER doesn’t like the idea of trying new things. She plays it safe in all areas of her life because the idea of leaving her comfort zone presents the opportunity to mess up.

But, these LOSER characteristics are first put on us by other people. Because we failed a grade. Or maybe we got up on stage to deliver a speech and we mumbled and stuttered all the way through it. Because our marriage didn’t last. Or we can’t seem to get past this addiction.

Someone else told us this is who we are and we believed them. This is why I hate this word with every fiber of my being. LOSER denotes an unwillingness to try to be anything else. A person who identifies with this hurtful word has no hope. And the Bible says that, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick…” (Proverbs 13:12)

So, I refuse to say it in my house. I refuse to allow my children to say it to eachother or themselves. If I hear it come out of their mouths, a big ol’ mama bear roars that THIS IS NEVER WHO THEY ARE. No matter how many times they fail.

Losing at something is just a lesson in overcoming. It’s an opportunity to do better the next time. It is never supposed to be a name that you get comfortable with. You’re a winner. We all are. 

Ya know why? God made us in His image. That means you were born to win. Quit calling yourself a LOSER, k? Or I just might have to come over there and roar loudly in your direction! 😉

What about you? What’s a word that you absolutely hate? Comment below and let me know.

 

Some of us blogging buddies are committed to writing more weekly on our blogs! We have a variety of topics we’ll be writing about! To check out these awesome chicks and where their writing is taking them, click on their blog links below!

Aimme at mamacentric.com
Abbie at grumblinggrace.com
Emily at emilyfisk.com
Gloryanna at onlyaseason.com 

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Why a Weekend in Vegas Doesn’t Appeal to Me

Hey friends! I want to share with you what I am learning over and over again in my life…especially in my #healthyover30 journey.

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You look in the mirror and don’t see physical changes so you FEEL discouraged.

You had a bad eating day. Now your tummy aches and you FEEL like a failure.

You worked out extra hard and your body is aching so much that you FEEL overwhelmed.

You got in an argument with your spouse before bed last night and you don’t FEEL like getting up early to run.

You read the magazine article about Gwyneth Paltrow’s kick-a** post baby body and you FEEL defeated.

You see how feelings don’t care about your goals and plans? They want you to give in to their whiny and selfish ways. Here’s the thing: 

Feed Your Feelingsand

You can’t listen to your feelings. They will only leave you high and dry when the next best thing (a.k.a. the newest feeling) comes along. Why do you think I am calling this my #healthyover30 journey and not my #healthyover30 weekend in Vegas? Cause it’s not a short-lived goal. It isn’t something I’m temporarily excited about but only doing until the feelings of fun and anticipation drop me back off at the airport alone. I’m not just choosing to live a healthier lifestyle when it’s convenient or thrilling.

I’m choosing to do this whole foods, exercise daily, love my spirit-soul-body thing forever. No temporary high can give me the results I want. Even the good feelings leave…

Good health brings great feelings but there’s more to it than that. It brings less doctor’s visits and more endurance during trials. It brings more purposeful moments with my children and extra patience with myself. It increases my understanding for others blazing their own health trails and gives me boundaries that keep me focused on living my best life.

Feelings can’t do any of that. So, I’ll keep on lacing up my running shoes. Promise me something? That I’ll see you on the track. 

The Ingredients for a Balanced Life

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Honesty is very important to me. It’s probably at the top of my list of “Things that Will Keep Me in Your Life.” Without it, there is no point in engaging in relationship with someone. It’s pretty easy to point out the people in the public arena who are dishonest on purpose. A dishonest public life will earn you a bad reputation. (How many celebrities can you think of that have done this?)

More often than not, though, I am seeing something I like to call Personal Dishonesty (PD). It’s the initial spark that ignites the fiery chain reaction of widespread deceit. In essence, PD is telling ourselves a lie and then believing it to the point of acting on it.


PD trends that seem to plague our world:

I am ugly because my body is not like the model on the cover of Cosmopolitan magazine. I will starve myself until I look like her.

I am unimportant because my family doesn’t take the time to listen to me when I speak. I will stop speaking up and hide my feelings from everyone.

I am weak because I cry about everything, including Hallmark commercials. I must suffer from depression and need to take medication for the rest of my life.

I am a failure because I can’t find a good job. I will stop looking and just eat doughnuts and watch Netflix on the couch forever.

I am tainted goods because of what happened to me in my past. I will never get married so why even try to take care of my body and dress nicely?


Did you notice that each of these PD moments start with a thought that inevitably ends with a supporting course of action? It’s not hard to see then how our world has become wrought with external deception.Our scale of honesty is off balance due to false perceptions of ourselves.

We can’t even begin to be honest with those around us if we aren’t first honest with the one looking back at us in the mirror. The devil is called the father of lies for a reason, people. If he can get us to believe one little seemingly insignificant lie about ourselves, he can manipulate us into believing that a life of deception is acceptable. After all, it is the norm these days, right? (Again, take a look at Hollywood.)

Allow me to counter the list of common PD trends with some God-breathed truths. First, a necessary disclaimer: *These truths only turn into actions when we BELIEVE them.*


Counter-cultural truths to apply to our swindled souls:

I am beautiful because God says I am a masterpiece, made by His own hands, breathed into existence by His very breath. He saw His creation (you and me!) and He said, “It is good.” (Ephesians 2:10, Genesis 1)

I am valuable because God says His thoughts toward me are precious and too many to count! He has put His own words in my mouth so that I can speak life and love everywhere I go without fear of what someone else might think. (Psalm 139:17-18, Isaiah 51:16)

I am strong because God created me in His image and He is all powerful and mighty to save. This means I have power and might. In fact, the same power that raised Christ from the dead lives inside of me! (Psalm 147:5, Romans 8:11)

I am victorious because God has given me the ability to endure through hardship and not give up. He says that I am more than a conqueror through the unyielding love of Jesus. (Colossians 1:11, Romans 8:37)

I am made new through the shed blood of Jesus Christ. The old days have been redeemed because of God’s amazing grace. He makes my face shine and never looks on me with shame. (2 Corinthians 5:17, Psalm 34:5)


Let’s start a revolution of honest living! Read the verses referenced above. Pray them out loud until your mind, will, and emotions accept the truth for what it really is–

The ONLY thing that can set you free.

Silence the liesby speaking the TRUTH.