A Time to Heal

hold on to the promise of freedom that tomorrow morning brings.

It’s spring. I can’t tell you how happy I am to see the daffodils and daisies awakening to the morning sun. Colorful lilies are frequenting the open fields and tulips are adorning the neighborhood gardens. What a wonderful display these lovely flowers put on for our enjoyment!

It’s easier for me to smile when I have glittering yellows and blues in my line of sight. My day is inevitably brighter when the warmth of the sun melts the frost from my wintry pale soul. Longer days make me jump with glee because it just means I get more time to spend outside in the healing rays. That’s what the sunshine is by the way. Healing. Oh, how I need some of that these days. My winter was harsher than years past due to a family tragedy and my heart hasn’t had the chance to really recover just yet.

Recovery. That goes right along with healing, doesn’t it? Maybe the welcoming smile of the cumulus clouds above are inviting me into a new space. A sunny place. One where I can run and play as I did when I was young. How I miss the ease of childhood, the naivety that youth brings, the fresh discovery that lingered in the air of my early years.

I want to be there again. Before life became wrought with trauma and pain. But I can’t go back. None of us can ever go back. We have to live with that truth. The funny thing about truth, though, is that in a strange and unguarded way,  it sets you free. Even when we don’t realize it, acceptance of the simple things that have always been and will always be, liberates the hurt right out of us.

Take the earth beneath our feet. It may be wet with dew or dry with cracks, but it’s still there for us to walk on. And it always will be. Those bulbs of spring that are awakening to new life after a long slumber in the dark can be counted on to make an appearance every year. Sure, a late frost might threaten their blooms but even so, they can be replanted, reborn.

Reborn. Another one of those words that brings comfort to my nostalgic heart. The pure simplicity of starting over in a world that is constantly on the edge of disaster makes me hopeful for the new.

Sing loud and strong, springtime song.

I have been in the frigid dark for way too long.

So I open my eyes and squint at the sun. I let the truth whisper through the wind that my time for renewal has arrived. And I hold on to the promise of freedom that tomorrow morning brings.

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For the Teen Mom

photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/38991082@N05/3596275884">pregnant silhouette</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/2.0/">(license)</a>

 

The wind whistles as I wake

to the light of the morning sun.

The rays shine through my window

And I reflect on who I’ve become.

 

In all my years of womanhood

I’ve never felt so scared

I don’t know quite what to do

with my current state of affairs.

 

To say I’m lost for words

is to speak the pregnant truth.

I couldn’t have seen this coming

even if I had read it in the news.

 

My body argues the facts

whether I want to believe them or not.

I guess I’ll have to get used to this.

I guess I’m officially caught.

 

The birds chirp away a song

that soothes my tired soul.

And I lay there beneath the covers

trying hard to forget it all.

 

I sigh and get up out of bed.

My head is foggy from little rest.

The darkness of my past mistakes

is trying to swallow me up yet.

 

Another day is beckoning

But I can’t seem to let anyone in.

What if they knew my secret shame?

What if they can’t see past my condition?

 

My hands start to shake

as I reach for the phone.

If I don’t dial it now

then I’ll be doing this alone.

 

A kind voice gently answers

with a simple “Hello?”

And my words fumble out

In a mesh of unintelligible groans.

 

“I’ll be right over” she says

as the phone drops to the floor.

And I lay there crying until

I hear a knock on the door.

 

“Come in” I feebly call

from my crumpled position.

She sees me in my weakness

and hugs me in contrition.

 

There’s no more hiding for me

as she sees my size.

I can’t ignore her glances down,

her questioning eyes.

 

Before I can utter a defense

for the situation I’m in,

she calmly smiles and says to me,

“I’m so glad that you’re my friend.”

 

We sit there in that moment

letting the silence speak the truth

and for the first time in my little life

I was surprised at what I knew:

 

The days behind me offer a glimpse

Into a life of wandering

But the days I’ve yet to see

Offer me the chance to be set free.

 

I may have made a mistake

I may have gone the wrong way

but the pure love of another

Has awakened me to change.  

 

If fear and condemnation

could make me lay it down

I would’ve left my sin long ago

I wouldn’t have been the talk of the town.

 

But here in this place

where honesty and grace collide

I can see that I’ve been given a gift

I can love the new life growing deep inside.