Cloaked by Good Intentions

photo credit: Hemlock Ring FO 2 via photopin (license)

A blanket is supposed to cover you. Keep you warm. Comfort you. It takes care of a specific need- you’re cold, tired, lonely,etc..

A blanket doesn’t make pretenses. It’s appearance follows suit with it’s usefulness. It doesn’t falsify itself so you can feel better.

What about generalizations that we term “blanket” statements?

Do they do those things? Not in my experience.

“It will all work out.” (Really? How do you know?)

“You just need some time to get over it.” (How is time going to mend my wounds?)

“Things happen for a reason.” (Sometimes there is NO good reason. Take murder, for instance.)

All cliched phrases that have been adapted to fit our culture’s need for hands off encouragement. No specifics please. No dirty details if you don’t mind. Unless I’m allowed to talk about your stuff to someone else later. 

I’m sorry but can you tell this bothers me? We were made for relationship. Check out the latin root of the word:

re- back, again

lat- carry

ship- state of being 

So we were made to be carried again and again. To be brought back. RESTORED.

I can’t imagine that restoration would happen in situation where only generalizations and happy-go-lucky phrases were used. You know, those acceptable statements that cover a wide issue but don’t get down to the nitty gritty of the specific problem?

Hard not to do? Yes.

Worth it? A thousand times yes.

In my frustration with people and their so-called helpful words, I can only hope that I have never been one to undermine a person’s true need by offering up a one-liner that could apply to a million different things.

I can only pray that I would choose silence and a listening ear over the sound of my own voice when the situation doesn’t call for me to speak.

Because sometimes there are no words that can comfort. And relationship is about more than dialogue. It’s got to be.

It’s a helping hand when you fall down. It’s a warm hug when you can’t stop crying.

And it’s being wrapped up in a well-worn afghan on your friends couch because your blanket at home has holes in it.

 

NaBloPoMo November 2015

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