The First Confession of Many

photo credit: Candles in a Restaurant via photopin (license)
photo credit: Candles in a Restaurant via photopin (license)

I confess, my mind is distracted today. I can’t focus and I linger too long on a thought instead of letting it pass me by. I woke up early to pray but I can’t seem to quiet my brain. I need a focal point, a phrase I can repeat, a song I can sing.

Have you ever found yourself here? Wanting to talk to God but not really sure how to begin because there is just a ton of stuff you could say and too much is overwhelming but not enough is vague. Yep. That’s me right now.

I mean, how do I shut off my thinker long enough to clearly formulate my needs and wants into words? All I can see when I close my eyes is the long list of things I have to do today…and tomorrow…and next week.

Being still can be really difficult. But God says that it’s in the stillness that I can know that He is God. (See Psalm 46:10)

How do I quiet my intellectual side so I can fully enter into the realm of faith? I feel like they are contradictory to each other so they can’t both be operating at the same time. Like, my brain wants to calculate the perceived time it could possibly take for me to save up the exact amount of money I need to pay off my car loan but God is like, “Shhhh….., just ask me about it. I’ve got a plan to get you the money you need in the nick of time.”

What does being still look like for a busy mom of 4? I’ll tell you what it doesn’t look like. It doesn’t look like an hour of uninterrupted peace and quiet, that’s for sure. (Insert popular image of toddler fingers poking out under the bathroom door.)

Is that ok? Can I be still in the moments that I catch between preparing meals and changing diapers and helping with math problems and making sure my kids wash more than once a week? Is being still this elusive idea that noone can ever really accomplish?

Well, I don’t think God would tell me to do it if it wasn’t achievable. But, maybe, I’ve got it all wrong. Maybe being still is less about me trying to shut off my brain and more about God quieting my soul.

He is God, after all. Why do I think I have to do this thing on my own?

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “The First Confession of Many

Comments are closed.